I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
