Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
