I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
