i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
