if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
