When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm like, not good at living.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
