i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
