yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
