barbara walters just said penis...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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