there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
