I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
