no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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