No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
