I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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