just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
