my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
