We need to rekindle our bromance
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
