honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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