I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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