my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
