i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
