Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
