Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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