you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
