Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
where am i from again
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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