With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
