just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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