I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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