$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
