Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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