We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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