there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We talked him into tasing himself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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