Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
