i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
