just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize