No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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