I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize