Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Randomize
