you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
