So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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