That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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