do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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