He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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