I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
