so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
