im holly from the hills drunk
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
