Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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