The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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