How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
