therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
