im drinking this country out of the recession.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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