what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize