What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
