I bet he comes in French.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
