I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
