Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
