Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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