Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
