i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
